Stressed Out

          Today was truely a hectic day. I wasn’t expecting everything to go the way that it did. In the morning things were looking up. I settled into my bosses chair and took to do the work she usually does. It was nice being in control. People started saying how I was going to take her spot. Which maybe one day I will. 

          Later in the day I saw for my own eyes why she was always stressed. She has to put up with other departments bugging her for inventory issues. I swear, I couldn’t get started on my own work without being interrupted by other people with negative locations. At first I felt good that I was needed. But then I saw that it was a little overwhelming. I don’t know how she does it. Our inventory manager said I did a good job today which made me feel a little better. Then again I don’t know if she was serious or just being nice. 

          Monday she won’t be around so that will be another day to show people my skills. And hopefully she’s back on Tuesday. Even though I do like the job, I’m still not getting paid what she is so why should I do it? This chance did provide me with a fifteen minute spotlight so management can see that I am useful. 

           My work permit has yet to come. It’s really frustrating. It’s stressing me out so much. My back has been aching for more than three weeks now an I think it’s because I’ve been really stressing out. I called to check on my status and they told me it’s still in process. Which technically isn’t bad but I would like it to get here before June and before I get fired and my currant permit expires. 

           One thing that did surprise me was that an old friend texted me and told me to right her a recommendation letter. I was a manager at a fast food place when I met her. It’s strange how that’s what made her text me. She only needed me to her convienoence. It kind of hurt my feelings but I’ll do the letter anyway. My big heart won’t let me be mean to her. I have to learn to forget and forgive. So much is going on right now that just adding enemies to the list of things isn’t going to help anyone out. 

          Tomorrow should be a better day. I’m going to start it off with a hike, then I’m going to get an oil change followed by a hair cut. In the afternoon I’m going to see Gardiams of The Galaxy 2. I loved the first one, and even though I’m not as a big fan as my brother is of Marvel, I still loved it. So tomorrow shall be a better day and today shall end soon. But what does the rest of my future have in store for me? 

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Fun Friday

Dear Journal,

          Today was actually looking like it was going to be a good day. Yes, I was almost late to work but I think I have made that a habit. There was a car crash near, well actually right on the corner of work, that made me a little later than I usually am. Once I was inside and we were all hearing the numbers of the work day, we started Fun Friday. Fun Friday is basically a raffle that the company does every Friday if you wear what that that Fun Friday theme is. Fro example, crazy hair day, or mismatch shoes, etc. If you participate you get a ticket. If you win then you receive two movie tickets.

          I had lucky number thirteen at the end of my numbers on my raffle ticket. (There was no theme this week so they just gave a ticket to everyone). There was a split second where I didn’t believe it. Me? Win something? I had to recheck the numbers to see if I was correct, and yes I was! I raised my hand before they would move on and pick a different number. So there, I won movie tickets. It’s the second time I win, granted it has been about seven months though.

          Just when I was on my high, you know being Friday and actually winning at something, I was called to the office because HR had an envelope for me. When I revived it the person who handed it to me said just to bring back the information needed. I was too nervous to open it there so i opened it in the break room. Thank God there was none in there, because what I think was a gasp might have sounded like my soul was leaving my body. I somehow knew what was in the envelope. Nothing good, its always nothing good.

          It stated that I had until June eleventh to turn in a document that states that I am in this country legally. I’ve been in this country since I was less than a year old, I have no recognition of being in any other country. America is all I know. And excuse me, but I probably act more American than most Americans. Yet all my life I have struggled with this legal and illegal stuff. Of course, all I have to do is renew my work permit, which I did. Now I’m just waiting for. Hopefully it comes in time.

          I don’t  really know why this letter got me down so much. I was suddenly thinking how no one else has to go through this. It’s sometimes embarrassing when they run my Social and ask if everything is good and i have to pull out my work permit so they don’t think I’m some kind of criminal. On the other hand, I should be thankful. Which i am to a curtain point. A lot of people really don’t have any other options but I at least have this one, yet I think what will happen when it all ends and I wont be able to renew anything? I can go back to a country that, sadly I was born in but yet know nothing about. That’s the way life is right? Unfair? Injustice? Illogical? Just like our government.

          Anyhow, in the back of my mind I can’t stop thinking about tomorrows party. I know, me go to a party? Well, I just might. I was invited to a party. Some girl from our church that lives literally twenty feet from us. If it was any other person then of course my answer would have been yes, and I would have not shown up. But she happens to live right in front of us so there is no way out of this one. I mean I could just die, but I don’t see how that would solve anything, or would? My brain has been debating all day if I should go or not. I have no clue what I will do.

          So has today turned out to be a Fun Friday?  Initially yes, ultimately no.

 

4/28/2017