Life is weird. I know that for a fact. Sometimes it can pull you down to the bottom and have you crawling on the dirt. But then there are those times where it lifts you high in the sky and you flying or floating right next to birds and you get to see the marvelous and spectacular views from above.
That’s how I feel at this moment. Like I’m floating. Like I’m souring in the sky and there is nothing that can catch me. I have not felt like this in a while and even though I want to say I didn’t see this coming I actually did.
I was promoted last week before I went on vacation to a Lead. Basically, that is second in command from a supervisor. I applied for it a while back. With all the things going on at work they took a while to finally give me the good news. I was ecstatic.
I love the department that I am correctly in, don’t get me wrong. But, I want to learn, I want to grow, and I want to expand myself in other ways in other departments. So, when this opportunity came around I took it.
I want to stay in this mentality. I want to feel like I am always floating. It is really hard to stay and maintain a positive attune but I will try and give it my best. That’s the only way to enjoy life. It was a long time coming but finally I can start living for me and be happy about it.
The company that we are transitioning finally offered me a pay if I were to convert to them. I knew what I was trying. That’s not what I wanted.
I walked into the general managers office about an hour ago. He say me down and explained to me what I was going to be given. I made a few questions as to why I was going to be paid so little.
Now, I’m not usually greedy, but I know my worth. I do so much for current company and I wasn’t getting paid for it. Plus, I want to add that I have been on a new mentality. The mentality that I will no longer be a pushover. I will be confident, I will be strong.
Because I made some questions, he called in the HR. She pulled me into her office and explained why I was going to be paid that amount. I told her no. I didn’t know if I was gonna get a higher offer but I did know I was going to fight for it.
Sooner than later she said ok, and they gave me what I was asking for. I was surprised with myself. I didn’t think they would just go with the flow like that. But I’m glad they did.
So now I sit here, in a clinic waiting to get drug tested, that’s a requirement, then they will send the results over to my HR and by then I’ll have my back ground checked and I will be part of the company in June.
I want to live on the beach. Where it’s always warm and sunny and the weather makes you smile by just breathing.
Of course that’s everyone else’s dream as well. Or for the most part, almost everyone. I was talking to a friend, or better said, to many friends that I’m bored of my daily routine. I want change. I want better.
Is it possible? Yes. Will I do it? Who knows, maybe I will but I just don’t have the initiative. What I have noticed is that people who usually get what they want is not because they deserve it. Sure, there are some people that have got what they really deserved.
But life isn’t fair. Life is a fucked up game, and sometimes you have to cheat. Sometimes you hav to do things that you wish you didn’t, but that’s the only way to get ahead. It’s not the way it should be, but it’s never personal it’s business.
Money moves people. If I ask you to help me cross the street you would probably say, it’s not that hard to cross the fucking street bruh. But if were to give you 5,000 dollars in cash and ask you for help, you would probably stop traffic for me and more. Truth?
My job in logistics is going through a employer change and people are demanding a raise in order to stay. Some people have already left, some have already been hired.
I will be one of the last ones to be hired and I’m not salty about that. It’s cool, I get to observe carefully how and what’s going on.
For example, some people got offered a 10 cent raise. And like a little kid offered a simple lollipop they said yes. I ain’t about that life. Maybe it’s the Cardi B in me or my strive to be more but I said hell nah.
I saw the general manager, a chance, an opportunity and I took it. I talked to him. Told him I do way to much to be offered just some piece of shit offer. I saw he was surprised buy my boldness. And trust me, I’m not a stand-up-for-yourself kind of person.
But for once I did what I had to do and I got my dolla.
I’m sitting here in a room I don’t want to be in. Tapping on keys and looking into a computer when I could instead be having fun with my best friend. It’s The Weekend. It’s the time where everyone should be out having fun. Doing important things with family. Spending time with people that actually mean something, not sitting in room full of nobodies.
I could literally get up, grab my things, and leave and never come back. This is my second job. I got this job to help me out with the bills. But is it worth it? I ask myself every time I come here. Is it worth the stress? Is it worth the time I miss out with family and friends?
It’s frustrating going back and forth in what I want. Do I want to be here? Do I need the money? What will happen when I quit?
When I first go here today I put it in my head that tomorrow I wasn’t going to show up. I wasn’t going to show up, call, or do anything. I was so mind set into just abandoning this job. But now, as I think more rationally, I find it hard to believe I could do that.
Is it bad? Or is it spontaneous? Will it affect me later? I don’t know. I just know that I need to stop. Working two jobs, paying bills, being The Man, is really fucking tiring. Can I take anymore of it? I’m not happy. I want to be happy. And as funny as it sounds, not working makes me happy.