Yesterday I was surprised with a text from a person I hadn’t talked to in a while. It was nice. I really wasn’t expecting it. We had a fall out, mainly my fault, I believe. But it was nice of her that she reached out.
So now tomorrow we are going to go for a walk at a near by park or catch up. I’m glad she suggested a walk and not a dinner or lunch date, since money is always an issue with me. A walk in the park never costs money.
I don’t really know how much I’ll tell her. If I’ll tell her everything or just bits and pieces. It all depends on how I feel the environment around us. I wish I could just open up and explain why I have been so distant but that’s just not who I am.
In other news, my mom finally got approved for her medical. That is like a mega super weight off all of our shoulders. We have been fight for a while now and she took the whole morning along with her case worker to figure out what was going on and they finally fixed it. In 48 hours she should be good. Now we just need to wait for an appointment date for the surgery.
Maybe things do work out in the end? But I still think they don’t get better.
Yesterday we saw the surgeon. He gave my mother two alternatives. Remove part of the breast and have the other get radiation, or remove the whole breast and have reconstruction surgery and just get chemo.
Even though they might seem like great solutions, (after all its her staying alive what we want), it’s still hard for her. I can see it. She doesn’t want to admit it. Shes a strong person. Doesn’t like to admit defeat.But she can’t manage this all on her own.
Monday we will see the oncologist and he will tell us everything we need to know about the cancer. How big, what stage, and how much chemo she will have to under go until she is once again superwoman.
The surgery though isn’t until May. Well, May the second. The insurance has to approve it and I guess medical is slow on these things. My initial thought would be that they act fast to get that thing out of her. But nothing moves people like money and everyone has to have their backs covered, right? It’s a sad world we live in.
Because, if you really think of it. If people were doctors because they wanted to save lives they really wouldn’t need the money right? They are doing it because its something they want to do? But then again, who will pay their bills? How will they make a living? My point is, it’s a fortune just to stay alive.
I’m glad we found a program that will help us though. I always under appreciated those things. People giving money to charities and other programs, but now I understand. It isn’t until you go through things that makes you see live in a new way. Makes you wake up each they and wonder, everything could change in the matter of seconds, so enjoy what you have.
My boss is very lenient. I asked him permission to leave early this upcoming Monday and he granted it without asking what time I would be leaving at. That’s nice of him. This whole thing is really starting to stress me out. That’s when I feel guilty because I’m not the one with the cancer. I’m trying my hardest to stay sane but it’s getting complicated.
I have some news for you Journal,
Yesterday was my first visit to the Doctor in more than thirteen years and I have to say it was well over interesting. The woman who checked for my appointment and gave me a pamphlet was super nice. People that usually work customer service and its after three PM can tend to be rude from my experience but she was just full of sunshine.
My Doctor is Chinese I think
(don’t judge me). His accent was really thick and sometimes I didn’t really understand what he was saying so i just nodded. When I did feel what he was saying was important (which should have been every word) I would ask him to repeat himself. He was nice too, until he told me that I’m mildly obese. (I was like Bitch where).
He said it continuously. I lost track of how many times he said it. I have to lose forty pounds according to him. I mean he did have a point. I do feel a little chunky. Although I wouldn’t consider myself fat, I could be better off with less weight. He just told me to exercise more often. I have been meaning to get back to my running days but It’s. So. Hard, (Netflix is always calling my name).
He also checked a ball I have underneath the arch of my foot. It’s not painful it just sometimes feels slightly uncomfortable. I have had it for some years now, which I know sounds terrible because it could actually be something dangerous which a doctor should have seen since the beginning but I haven’t had health care until now. That’s really a sucky excuse really because health is really important but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Other than that nothing really nothing has happened, oh wait. I went to my car insurance to see if they could drop the bill a little and they said no. I have so many discounts its amazing how I am paying anything at all. But, the good thing is they said maybe if I fiance my car through them and instead of where I bought it from they could reduce the monthly payments. I said hell yeah, so they did the application for the bank and we awaited a response. I got a call this morning saying that I was actually approved so tomorrow I’m going to see what kind of deal they have to offer me.
Also, Journal, something that I have forgotten to mention is that my friends rescheduled the “friends fun night” that I canceled on last Friday. So I have that to look forward to. *Rolls eyes* Technically I shouldn’t despise them for not being there for me when I didn’t tell them that my life was falling to pieces and every day i woke up I felt like death itself. But come on! That’s like a basic Friendship Instinct! But, we’ll see what they have to say for themselves tomorrow.