Ok, so here's the sitch, I went to work today feeling like I was the king of the world. But can you blame me? I was the only one up for a promotion and I really thought I was going to get it, I didn't. But before you go on and say hot dam another depressing post, hold your horses because it's not one.
The position hasn't been filled yet, that's only because they want to move her (the girl who doesn't want it anymore) to a different department, but moving her they have to move someone else. Why do companies do that? Every little change affects them in some way. Which is mostly every occasion.
Want to make a change? How much money will it cost? What to fix a problem? How much money will it cost? I feel that they are looking at it all wrong but what ever. Form what I hear on the street the job is mine. It's looking for an new spot for her that's the problem.
So you see? Not bad news, just regular news. I'm getting better at this optimistic thing don't you think?
My weekend wasn't that bad either. Went to work and then grocery shopping. Found out our food stamps card has been cut off. And instead of fighting for it I said fuck it. Yes we will struggle for a month or so but with the new promotion (fingers crossed) hopefully it will help.
After that I reluctantly bought a exercise bike. It was on sale so I had to get it. The neighbors stupid dog still won't shut up so I have to find other ways to keep my hot smoking body in shape lol what body?
My Sunday was bland. I pretty much organized my room and I filed some mail that had been sitting on that chair that I know all y'all have. You know. That chair you have in your room to "sit" on but you only use it as something to place things on. Like clothes or books even things who have no intention of putting away.
Anyway of topic sorry . I am working on my other blog and it's coming along good. Hopefully I can publish it soon. I'm excited. Other than that life's a bit boring. So bye FeliCa.
Today we had our first check up since my moms surgery. According to the doctor everything is turning out “beautifully”. Makes me happy to hear that. Although while we were there and they were taking the gauze off I had to help undress my mom.
Now, never did I think I would be doing such thing. But, her health is my priority. Once the gauze was off I got to see the wound. It wasn’t a pretty site. It was actually a little unsettling. If I was shaken up about it, I can only imagen how she felt. Like, a part of her, a part that made her her, is now gone.
Once the doctor was examining her, I sat there thinking, how would I feel if a part of me was no more?How would you feel? It’s something that you have to kind of train your brain to think about, and also later accept. Then I thought of all the women who get mastectomies and they have to remove both breasts. That must be wicked hard. And I have mad respect for them. If your one of them, you are strong and I am proud of you.
If your a guy reading this and you don’t understand because your a cold hearted and closed minded asshole, just picture someone taking one of your balls off, maybe even both. How would you feel? They are part of you. Part of what make you male. So for a women to get a breast or breasts removed is hard. Extremely hard. Because sure they can take your balls off no one would notice. But breasts are pretty visible.
Anyway, the doctor said there might not even be any need for chemo, but that would be up to the oncologist. We have to make an appointment to see him soon.
I could tell that my mom was shaken up about seeing her wound. She said she didn’t want to see it but she did anyway. I hugged her and encouraged her the most that I could. Got her to see the bright side of all this. This is all for the better and her health is the most important thing. She cheered up a bit once I started making my little jokes, I like to see her smile.
Now, hopefully we are on the path of recovery. I have to find some exercises for her arm so it won’t stiffen up. Also maybe a bra that will get her self estime up a little. I know this isn’t easy for her and I want to make it as easy and as painless as I can. Even though it’s a lot of physical recovery I feel that there will also be a lot of emotional recovery, and I will be there every step of the way to make it better.
I love running. Especially outside. I’ll admit I did want a treadmill once, but that desire faded away as soon as I saw how nice and beautiful it is to breathe the fresh air outside.
Running for me is such a good way for me to relive my stress. To let everything go with every single footstep I place on the ground. My lungs fill up with new air as worries and problems get exhaled and left behind. My mind travels to places that my feet can’t go while music flows through my ears right into my soul.
So what happens when that is taken away from you? Tragedy. Ok maybe that’s a little too dramatic. But for me knowing I can’t run for a while is nearly devastating.
Let me explain. So basically what happened as I hiked up my usual mountain today in the early morning is that my shins failed me. That bone that runs from your knee to your foot? Yeah that one! The middle part of my shin, the inner part, was hurting like HELL. On both feet!
Turns out it’s called shin splints. And it’s actually really common in runners. Well, runners that are very unbalanced. Which I suppose, I am. I have to take the blame on this one (obviously) and say that it’s my fault. I have had minor pain in the same location but had ignored it. I just thought it was sore. But you should never ignore your body! I just learned that today.
If I would have listened to my body and investigated this sooner I probably would have fought this early on and would have just cooled down my runs. Now I’m left to stop running completely for a week or so while it heals up.
I bought some athletic tape and some neoprene sleeves for both legs. I also placed a cold pad on them for a little while. The pain has gone away, but that doesn’t mean that it’s healed. When I apply pressure it feels like agony.
My mom told me that I should cool it down when I run. But I don’t even run that intense. I think it’s just that I stopped so long ago then testarted a long while after and my body was just like WTF Dude? You know?
For now all I’m left with is yoga. I tried it once, but didn’t have the patients for it. I’m going to give it another try and see how it goes. Maybe it will calm and relax me in a different way? I’ll do anything right now, don’t have any other options of exercise, other than weights and I do that already.
Yesterday was my first visit to the Doctor in more than thirteen years and I have to say it was well over interesting. The woman who checked for my appointment and gave me a pamphlet was super nice. People that usually work customer service and its after three PM can tend to be rude from my experience but she was just full of sunshine.
My Doctor is Chinese I think (don’t judge me). His accent was really thick and sometimes I didn’t really understand what he was saying so i just nodded. When I did feel what he was saying was important (which should have been every word) I would ask him to repeat himself. He was nice too, until he told me that I’m mildly obese. (I was like Bitch where).
He said it continuously. I lost track of how many times he said it. I have to lose forty pounds according to him. I mean he did have a point. I do feel a little chunky. Although I wouldn’t consider myself fat, I could be better off with less weight. He just told me to exercise more often. I have been meaning to get back to my running days but It’s. So. Hard, (Netflix is always calling my name).
He also checked a ball I have underneath the arch of my foot. It’s not painful it just sometimes feels slightly uncomfortable. I have had it for some years now, which I know sounds terrible because it could actually be something dangerous which a doctor should have seen since the beginning but I haven’t had health care until now. That’s really a sucky excuse really because health is really important but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Other than that nothing really nothing has happened, oh wait. I went to my car insurance to see if they could drop the bill a little and they said no. I have so many discounts its amazing how I am paying anything at all. But, the good thing is they said maybe if I fiance my car through them and instead of where I bought it from they could reduce the monthly payments. I said hell yeah, so they did the application for the bank and we awaited a response. I got a call this morning saying that I was actually approved so tomorrow I’m going to see what kind of deal they have to offer me.
Also, Journal, something that I have forgotten to mention is that my friends rescheduled the “friends fun night” that I canceled on last Friday. So I have that to look forward to. *Rolls eyes* Technically I shouldn’t despise them for not being there for me when I didn’t tell them that my life was falling to pieces and every day i woke up I felt like death itself. But come on! That’s like a basic Friendship Instinct! But, we’ll see what they have to say for themselves tomorrow.
I’m writing to you from my phone today because my brother conveniently decided that he needed to use my laptop for his homework. And I, one of the best brothers ever to roam the land let him use it, (after ten minutes of bickering). I don’t use it that often so it’s ok, it’s also a plus that he doesn’t hog it either.
Anyway, on to what I was going to say, which was? Right, well it’s Tuesday and since the horrid thing that we call “Monday” has past I feel well enough to talk about the weekend. Which was not that bad for my type of weekend (I usually have really boring weekends, life, etc).
After watching some seasons (yes seasons) of Glee, my mom asked if I wanted to go walk, “hike” you could say (technically because it’s an inclined walk up a hill). I agreed and we went off on our way. We went to Mount Rubidoux in Riverside. It’s like twenty five minutes away from our house so it’s not that far. It’s not my favorite place to hike since again, it’s not an actual hike but it has a good view.
And since we are fat asses we had to get corn on the cob from some guy selling some at a near by park. Yes we got all kinds of stares. (I mean who goes out for a walk and gets junk food?) We might as well have taken soda for hydration and Icecream to cool off at the top. In my defense we did finish it at the bottom (I don’t know how that is a defense but there you go).
The trails are nice. There is a steep way, which will get you to the top faster. There is also a more less inclined way, which will obviously take you a bit longer but will not tire you as much. You think that after eating a greased up, moyo dripping, cheese drenched corn on the cob we would feel guilty enough to go the steepest way and burn those calories we had just consumed right? Well your wrong Journal. You see, we were tired from the consumption of that corn (I don’t know how) that we thought we would rest our selfs by taking it easy.
The view was of course priceless. That’s basically why anyone ever goes up there. There is only one or two people actually running up and down the mountain actually excersing everyone else is just taking pictures. (Welcome to America). We sat up there for a total of fifteen minutes and saw half the sunset until unfortualy the smog covered the view then we headed down. Over all it was actually kind of relaxing, I’m up for making that a weekly thing. (No promises though).
Over all it was a nice little humble weekend fun. (My calfs and feet died several times though).