Money moves people. If I ask you to help me cross the street you would probably say, it’s not that hard to cross the fucking street bruh. But if were to give you 5,000 dollars in cash and ask you for help, you would probably stop traffic for me and more. Truth?
My job in logistics is going through a employer change and people are demanding a raise in order to stay. Some people have already left, some have already been hired.
I will be one of the last ones to be hired and I’m not salty about that. It’s cool, I get to observe carefully how and what’s going on.
For example, some people got offered a 10 cent raise. And like a little kid offered a simple lollipop they said yes. I ain’t about that life. Maybe it’s the Cardi B in me or my strive to be more but I said hell nah.
I saw the general manager, a chance, an opportunity and I took it. I talked to him. Told him I do way to much to be offered just some piece of shit offer. I saw he was surprised buy my boldness. And trust me, I’m not a stand-up-for-yourself kind of person.
But for once I did what I had to do and I got my dolla.
I have been promoted at on of my jobs. Yesterday was my leads last day and even though there were rumors that I was going to be getting her job I still didn’t believe it. It felt to good to be true.
Well, technically I didn’t get her job. But, I did get a tasker position which is the exact same thing with a different title.
So now I’m head of the inventory department. It’s funny cuz it’s a small department. Just me and one more person, Ricky. Though, Matt (my manager) did tell me that they were going to hire more people so that’s going to be fun. Can’t have a team if it’s only one person.
I’m glad that I got the position seeing as money is short right now. I would have been very disappointed if I wouldn’t have gotten it. There were rumors that they wanted to outsource for the position but I am the most qualified for it seeing as I was my leads Minnie Me.
Today I went with my mom to IHOP to celebrate. I told my brother to join us but he said it was too early. He was just being lazy, I’d like to rant about that but that’s a different post.
I am tired as hell! I never thought working two jobs would make me feel this exhausted. And it’s my first week! But, on the plus side the days do go by faster, although that can also be looked as a bad thing seeing I’m wasting my young precious life slaving away to for Man.
So I wake up everyday at 5 in the morning. Get ready for my first job (which is full time) and get there at 6AM. I leave from there when I’m off at 2:30PM.
After that I have limited time to eat, change clothes, and drive to work and arrive at 4PM. At that job I’m there until 10 which is a total of 6 hours. For now, that’s my schedule but it could all change.
Anyway I get home at around 10:30 and get things ready for the next day. So I’m in bed by 11PM to restart the whole cycle again.
Hope this wasn’t too boring, like who wants to know what people do?
Basically I have time to do nothing. Even though this could be very stress full, I’m trying to stay polite and remind myself that’s it’s all for my mom. (And kind of for my self, don’t judge me!) Keeping a positive attitude helps a lot. Even when times are tough.
This weekend I am off from both jobs and I’m catching up with a friend who went to Alaska in the summer. Not because she wanted to see it but she went for a work. She’s back and I can’t wait to see her.
Later on that day it sure yet to what I will be doing but pretty sure I’ll be doing something.
This week has been full of emotions. I wish I could say good ones but life has taught me other wise. And with my feet not letting me run just makes me more depressed.
Monday wasn’t too bad. I don’t remember anything out of the ordinary happening that day. All except Jose, Human Resources substitute, told me that they need my I-9 form (employment eligibility). I haven’t received anything from immigration. I called them Wednesday, asking what’s going on. I guess they are backed up. I also couldn’t get an extension. So basically tomorrow my permit expires. I won’t be illegal though since my application is submitted, I just can’t work.
Which is just as horrible. No work no money. And with my mom having cancer and all it’s just all so stressful.
I gave my receipts that I got from immigration to Jose as proof that I wasn’t lying that I did everything and now am just waiting for the card in the mail. So he said he would run that through the HR manager and see if I could still work. He never called me back. So I don’t really know if I should show up on Monday. It would be embarrassing to just go and then be asked to leave.
The drive home from work yesterday was very emotional. I couldn’t hold in my tears. Thinking of how we were going to go on in life. How unfair life is. Cancer, no job, no money, then what the fuck am I suppose to do? Once I got home I cleared my tears and walked in the door like nothing had happened. Told my mom that I really didn’t know what was going on, if they would let me work or not.
Later in the evening our landlord and his wife came over and talked about our situation. He said we wouldn’t have to pay next months rent. That helps a lot.
Still, no call from Jose. I’m starting to think he just doesn’t know how to tell me that I can’t go back. I understand though.
I hate life. I really do. I wish I could be more positive and look on the bright side or beyond some things but it’s so fucking hard. I look both ways and all I see is pain. Why? It’s getting really tiring. Even talking about it, writing about it, doesn’t even help. It’s pointless. Everything is pointless.
Elizabeth group messaged Jennifer and I on Snapchat. Something about best friends day. Jennifer suggested we go to her house and hang out. Seeing as I haven’t seen her in four months I couldn’t. I really wish they knew what was going on, and even if they didn’t at least pretend that they care. I miss them.
Now I have no clue what we will do to survive. How will we pay bills? How will we buy food? How will I take my mom for her surgery, and chemo treatments? How will we pay rent? How will we ever get by?