Even Though I Don’t Have A Life, I Like To Pretend I Do

Just when I thought I was having writers block aka my life was hella boring and nothing was going on that was of such importance for me to be blogging about it, in walks Life and says, "lol just kidding."

Well technically there hasn't been literally nothing going on because in that case I would be dead. I guess you could say I've just been really lazy. Well mostly tired. I worked almost 60 hours for three weeks straight and it got to me a little. I even think I gained back some weight and I have to say I'm not too happy about that, correction, I'm not happy at all about that.

The thing is that our neighbors dog is the devil. No joke. He. Is . Satan. I never thought he would reincarnate in animal again but I mean he's done that before and now he's out to get me. Why? Well I usually get up every morning before work and jog in our back yard since it's big enough. And of course I'm not going to go out in the street. Not in this neighborhood. So, he's just been barking at me like I'm some kind of burglar or something. Like, dude I'm just trying to get my physical on. You know?

He didn't comprehend that. It's weird he was never doing that before but all of the sudden I'm his number one target. It's been three days and I even told my mom I was going to buy an elliptical or a fan bike, just something so I could get my cardio in without bothering the spawn of Satan. And I don't want to file a noise complaint because I don't want trouble, I avoid conflict at all cost, so no thanks bye.

Anyway, now on to the juicy news that actually made me right this post. Promotion. Yaaas gurl you heard it right. For me. Well it's a big maybe, but still. My lead asked me if I wanted to move departments and work as a Sales Bom Tasker. The tittle includes, printing labels for boxes, reboxing, and I think that's pretty much it. Oh, plus a dollar raise. It's really simple. Here's the catch. I would have to work eight to ten hours a day. Not bad, but the start time is six in the morning. Meaning I would be out of work late. And even though I don't have a life, I like to pretend I do so I talked to the supervisor and told him I'd do it if they would let me start at four AM. He said he didn't see a problem but he would still have to run it by the General Manager.

In all honesty. I really do want it. I was looking for a part time job in the afternoon anyways. With a dollar raise and a little more hours it's like a gift from God basically. How can I not take it? What if he says that I have to start at six? That's going to suck because I really want to start at four. Still, just getting the job is a plus. It's moving up.

I talked to my lead about it. She said she threw my name out there because she knew I wanted to move up and it's perfect for me. And ahem it's the only name that was brought up so yeah soak that in. I told her I was actually waiting for her position, but she said what if I didn't get it? I mean this Tasker job is being handed right to me, it wasn't going to be that easy for the inventory lead. Plus she told me that her job is not one to desire. It's stressful and you have to deal with bitchy Anna. And it has more responsibilities and I would be paid the same. So now my head is all over the place.

I told my mom about it as well and she agreed it was a good idea. Wouldn't have to look for a second job. But dam, working ten hours a day. I mean it's possible. The thing is who would pick up my brother from school? Well, is it greedy if I say that I'm the one paying the bills and I'm the one who has to look out for the finances in this house hold? I think not. He's seventeen years old he should get it together learn how to drive and get a license. And a job while he's at it. But who knows.

Will I take the promotion? Will I start at four or six? Will my neighbors dog ever shut the fuck up? Guess we'll find out soon.

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Bongo

          My soul is crushed. I feel broken. As if a part of me was no more. Memories consume me. Pictures bring me to tears. I knew this day would come eventually but not this soon.

          When I got home from work this evening my mom was waiting for me sitting patiently. It seemed weird to me but she acted normal. I thought she was just hot and wanted to be closer to the AC. I sat next to her and listened to how her day had gone. How some friends come to visit her and gave her advice. One of her friends had cancer. I was glad she could help my mom with her experience and how she handled everything.

          After I told my mom how my day went she told me she had news that were rather sad. She didn’t know how I was going to react. I didn’t either. I was scared nonetheless. Then she said it. My dog past away. It was like my world had sunken. Like water levels had drastically risen and were were submerged and fighting for our last breaths. I didn’t understand. I ran outside. I had to see for myself.  It must have been a lie, it had to be a lie, but it wasn’t.

          He laid there motionless. My best friend. The only one who was and had always been there for me. The one who was always eager to lend a ear. The one who was always happy to see me. The one I knew I could trust in. Ten years of my life we had spent together. Through the good and the bad.


          And now that was all gone. He was gone. No more. I was crushed. Heartbroken. I stood there trying not to cry. trying to act mature. But with everything else going on and now this? It was nearing impossible. How do you lose a friend and not cry? How do you go through one of the hardest months in your life and not cry?

          Maybe a pets death wouldn’t make some one cry like I did. But I was like a strong glass at a wedding toast that took a beating with a silver spoon. And as it continued the glass cracked ever so slightly. Each hit was less then before but the glass cracked more and more because it was becoming fragile with every hit. Until the spoon won. It was my tip of the iceberg, the last hit.

          I will miss you. You were the best friend I ever had. You came into my life when I was young and needed someone to lean on. You became my friend and then soon family, to not only me but my brother and mother. I grew up with you. I’m going to miss seeing you. I’m going to miss playing with you. I’m going to miss the way you jumped up and down when you heard the bag of dog food. I’m going to miss when I would go away for a couple of hours and returned to your warm and happy trot. I’m going to miss coming home and you being the first thing I saw.


          I’m sorry we didn’t get to have more time with each other. I’m sorry I didn’t treat you better. Sorry I didn’t spoil you more. Sorry I didn’t give you more of my love. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the best life. I’m sorry life was this short for you. I will always remember you.


In the loving memory of Bongo. You will be missed, rest in peace in doggy heaven.