Moving This Mountain 

          Yesterday I took my mom to the doctor. It was time for her staples to come out. It was a little of a wait but when we finally got in they took the staples out. My mom said it didn’t hurt like she thought it was going to. When they were off she said she felt better. But then she looked down. I feel like my heart had just shattered into a million pieces then was set on fire. Looking at her face, seeing how hurt she was. Looking down and seeing what she saw. The scar that was now forming. 

          I put my hand on her shoulder and told her she was strong. Not because she’s my mom, but she is one of the strongest women I know. She felt a little better. I try my best to comfort her as best as I can. I know I can’t make that hurt that she feels go away but I can help her though it. She seems at peace with what happened but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t emotionally hurt still. It changes everything. 

          Like yesterday before we went she wanted to wear a scarf. I asked her why? She told me that she just felt like it. But I knew she just didn’t feel comfortable going out like that. That gave me such a pain in my chest. Knowing she feels that way. That people will look. Jerks. They don’t even know what we have gone through, but it’s the sad truth, they judge. So I let her wear it, and I told her she looked beautiful. 

          We are still trying to move this mountain. It’s hard but here we are. One day at a time. It gives me much joy seeing how she’s returning to herself. Getting up and waking around. Even yelling at my brother and me to make our beds and clean up. I missed her. I missed that part of her. The part that made her my mom. No matter what happened, she’s still my mom. She will always be, and I will always love her, And it makes me happy that with each day that passes by she gets better. Physically and emotional. 

And it will be moved

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Hang In There 

            These flowers were given to me today by my friend Eli. She texted me yesterday that she wanted to give something to my mom and asked if it was ok to come over. She hasn’t met my mom, but I was going to the store today that’s by her house and I told her we should just meet up close by there so she wouldn’t have to drive all the way here and we could chat a while . 

            I hadn’t seen her in over four months I think. Since that last time we went to the park togther. It was nice seeing her. And even though I just wanted to talk to her alone I’m glad her husband went as well. Or else I would have been all mopey and gloomy about everything. I’m glad I got to see both if them. It was nice catching up. I really do miss her and I wish we would talk and hang out more. Hopefully the future changes. But life is weird. I’m optimistic right now but that changes really fast. We’ll see what happens , anything can happen. 

            I think it was really nice of her to give these to my mom. She really liked them. She also have me a little care that’s said hang in there. Telling me that even though things are hard right now they will get better. I hope so, but I don’t know. I should just start going with the flow. The flow seems to be moving pretty well so. I shall move along as well, because in the end life keeps rolling even if you dont.