I want to live on the beach. Where it’s always warm and sunny and the weather makes you smile by just breathing.
Of course that’s everyone else’s dream as well. Or for the most part, almost everyone. I was talking to a friend, or better said, to many friends that I’m bored of my daily routine. I want change. I want better.
Is it possible? Yes. Will I do it? Who knows, maybe I will but I just don’t have the initiative. What I have noticed is that people who usually get what they want is not because they deserve it. Sure, there are some people that have got what they really deserved.
But life isn’t fair. Life is a fucked up game, and sometimes you have to cheat. Sometimes you hav to do things that you wish you didn’t, but that’s the only way to get ahead. It’s not the way it should be, but it’s never personal it’s business.
Change is good. I like change. But what happens when the change turns your world upside down? When you get stuck in the moment and have to realize what’s going on before you can take that one step in the right direction.
I work in logistics. In simple terms, a Warehouse. It’s not glamorous. But it’s not a piece of shit place either. I like it. Not small but not too big. I like what I do.
I was just recently promoted to a position that has more responsibilities but isn’t too complicated or stressing. Everything was working out fine. But business is business. It’s cut throat or get cut. Live or die. And I’ve been dying.
Today they moved someone from another department to mine. And recently they brought in a supervisor form another site in to mine as well. Both will be training to be my bosses.
How do you train someone to be your boss? It’s not fair. Why can’t I just have the position. Or why didn’t they just leave the guy where he was. Everything was cool. Everything was fine.
Now it’s not.
My mind switches sides from teaching them everything I know to trying to keep things to myself to still be valuable. Because once everyone knows what you know who’s to say they they still need you? You are replaceable by the snap of a finger.
Business is business. I shouldn’t take things personal. This is the way it usually works. When it’s not you it’s someone else. Life isn’t fair. Do I have to lie to make my way through life? Are there things I’m doing wrong? Friends I do not have in high places? Asses that aren’t being kissed?
Well, excuse me but I don’t play fake. I don’t play games. I don’t beg.
Let my work speak for itself, and they can’t hear it. I’ll find someone who will.
So in the hopes of getting my love life back on the road I downloaded two apps. I know, not the ideal way of looking for love but what else is there to do? Clubs, eww. Bars, do people still do that? Just randomly? This ain’t no fucking movie.
I made my bio really bubbly and full of joy and humor. At least I thought it was funny.
Here’s what I wrote. ⬆️
I thought I was going to get a lot of messages but I think people are more superficial than interested in what I have to say. It’s a sad world we live in. On both apps I managed to actually keep in touch with 2 guys. They seem pretty normal and actually ask questions to get to know me and participate in a conversation.
Buuuuut, there is a third guy on one of the apps that’s really shady. Don’t get me wrong he’s like the total dream guy. He’s a bit older than me like…10 years, but, but, but, he’s really handsome has a good job and according to him he has an Olympic size pool. LOL
We talked all day and he seems pretty normal. He uses a lot of emojis for someone in his thirties. He invited me to his house this Saturday and I don’t know if I should go. One of my friends said I shouldn’t. She said I might die or get killed. I told her she’s way to dramatic. But she might be true.
He seems pretty cool. I added him on Snapchat just to see if he was actually who he said he was and he was. Although he sends old pictures like not through Snapchat just regular took 3 or 4 weeks ago pics which I find odd. I sent him a good morning picture with a dog filter and he responded with a written good morning. I asked him for a picture he said ok, but hasn’t responded.
I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he’s busy, just because I saw on his story that he was on a plane ride. Probably business related.
So many questions run through my mind though. What if he’s lying? What if he’s fake? A fraud? Only wants to hookup with a innocent young boy? What if I die?
Maybe I’ll tell him we should meet out in public right? That seems like the best alternative, you know, other than death.