Busy New Things

I finally took it upon myself to start my writing blog. It’s amazing how long I have procrastinated on actually writing anything in that blog. I created that blog maybe more than a year ago, and the other day I barely wrote my first post. It was more of an introduction post, but nonetheless it was a post and a first step is a first step no matter how big or small it is.

I am excited to write. Of course, I’m not a college grad or in college to say the least, but I do have a dream. So for the moment I want to practice with my imagination, which is mainly why I created the writing blog. To practice. Since my writing skills aren’t not at its best don’t expect anything that is mind blowing, or do? Who knows, maybe I’ll write something that is actually semi good. In the mean time, I’ll be here, writing.


Tomorrow is my first day back to work form my almost four week family leave. I know I will be asked so many questions regarding my absence. I’ll also have to be updated on any new things that may have changed while I was gone. It will be hectic, maybe even a little stressful, but I know I will be able to hang in there.

The thing is getting back to a normal routine. Getting back to the rhythm of things is always hard. I know this for a fact. I’ve been eating without limits, going to bed at random hours, and relaxing at home with no worries. But all this will change now that I am forced to be somewhere for eight hours a day five days a week.

Also happening tomorrow, my mom will be seeing her doctor to check up on her post surgery. She’s doing so much better and manages to get around. I’m so glad I was here to help her through everything and more than happy she is doing better and content with how the surgery went.

There’s no doubt that the end of this October will be full of new surprises and busy and new things .

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Stay Strong Mom

I woke up fifteen minutes before 4 AM in the morning. No alarm, no one woke me up. It was just the sensation that something was different.

My brother has been working night shifts and I am his ride, I have to pick him up at 4:30. Every morning everyday before I go to work. He usually calls me when I have to pick him up, today I was already awake and coming back from Starbucks. I needed coffee, let me rephrase that, I needed sugar.

Once my brother was home and said his goodbyes to my mother we drove to the hospital where her reconstruction surgery was going to take place. She was nervous I could tell. I was calm, at least that’s what I gave off in appearance.

We registered and got her admitted and soon we were speaking to the nurses and doctors regarding the surgery and the procedures. They explained what and how they were going to do it (again), it was pretty raw and gruesome, but that’s the way doctors should be.

Pretty soon I said good bye and watched her get wheeled away and taken. I had a minor flash back of last year when she had her mastectomy. Last year I was in a terrible place. I’m ok admitting that now.

Now I’m in a better place. Nonetheless, I do have emotions, and it is terrifying just being in a hospital in general. I am from Hispanic decent and if you have ever watched a Spanish soap opera, nothing good comes from hospital nurses mouths.

But I can’t think like that. A nurse updated me and said that everything is going well. No issues, just time. A lot of time left. I’ve been getting a lot of support from friends through social media.

I know they care, but is it wrong for me to ignore them? I need space. I need to focus. I need to center myself. With everyone asking and wishing for the best and saying it’s going to be ok is really overwhelming. It kind of screams at me hey your mom is in a intensive surgery that may or may not end her life ! But good luck!

This is not pushing people away. This is me getting myself together before I explode in front of them. I’m not one to break down in front of people, that’s not really my style. I collect myself and move on. If everyone is worried who’s gonna keep me sane?

Anyway I’m rambling now, I continue to hope and pray that the surgery is a success and that everything goes fine. I am nervous but not as much, I love my mom and losing her would be the worst possible thing in the world.

Stay strong mom. I love you.

My Face Reflects Calmness And Peace

It is oficial. My mother’s reconstruction Breast surgery will be the 21st of this month. As happy I am for her I am also really scared.

We met with the surgeons and anesthesiologist who will be in the operating room the day of the surgery. They explained everything that they will be doing, the risks, and the benefits of the surgery.

Basically they will be taking part of the stomach tissue along with a vein or artery and be placing it where her breast was once at. To do so they have to remove a rib to get an artery connection.

This surgery will take about ten hours. If all goes well she will be in the hospital under intensive care for three to five days. Then she will be released and be in bed rest for about a month.

Some of the risks include; the artistes getting clogged up, a hernia, and losing too much blood causing death.

But we are optimistic. Well at least my mom is. I’m staying to say string for her but at the same time I’m screaming on the inside. I’m crying and throwing things around. My mind is one of the worst hurricanes in human history. But my face reflects calmes and peace.

She is strong. I am strong. I have never met anyone in my life as strong as my mother. Her faith moves me. Her strength makes me continue. Her live fuels me. She is one of the greatest people I’ve ever met. I hope to never forget that.

Second Place

Currently sitting in a hospital waiting room, my mom is getting some type of exam to see where her arteries are in her body for her up coming reconstruction Breast surgery.

She was told not to eat four hours before but she forgot so we had to wait an hour.

I left work four hours early. I was really bored but I had requested it already. Today is the day that one of the departments transferred to the new company. The people that are left are caring around a don’t care attitude.

The animosity with my friend has died down. I’m honest done fighting with him. He can go take a hike for all I care. Sure I really appreciate his friendship and al but I’m not gonna sit around and be a second place to anyone.

We’re still taking like normal, I told him I’d start over but a different start, because if we start over and get back to the place where we are now then there’s no point. So that’s what’s up, just a short up date.

Surgery

We have another life decision to make. Well, my mom does.

It’s time for her reconstruction surgery. We saw the doctor and he gave us two options of what she can chose to do.

The first one is the most common. Breast implants. It’s the usual surgery of implanting silicone bags where the breast used to be. There are not too many complications. The only down side is she would be needing to change the bags every 10 years or so, as it is recommended.

The other option, the one that frightens me, is having part of her own fat transferred from the stomach or another part of the body, to her breast.

This one has more complications. It involves the doctors removing fat and arteries from a part of her body and putting it the place where her old breast used to be. This surgery is 8-10 hour surgery and she would need to be under intensive care since it involves arteries.

The second one scares me the most since the surgery lasts so long and the fact that something can go wrong with the veins and such is what scares me the most. But it seems that this is the one she is leaning towards the most.

She explained that even though its so long and there are risks, once its all over it will be over, and it will be part of  her body. The implants she will have to replace every two years and her body might not take them well.

What made her even more confident is that the doctor told her that she was a great candidate for the fat transfer. Hearing this also made me feel better about that surgery but over all its her decisions and she will do what she thinks is  best for her.