January 2017 – June 2017

            I’ve decided to chronicle my life for these past few months, half a year to be exact. Basically from when I started this blog until now. It’s a way for me to reflect and to remember everything that has happened. Kind of like a mini summery. And I want to do this every six months as well, so it should be interesting and maybe fun. So lets get started, enjoy.

 

 

            January, this month is when I started my blog, but to be really accurate it was more the end off January. My blog has come a long way since then and it turned out to be way different than I ever imagined it would be. But also in this month I started to see my life fall apart. Not drastically but it was like a glimpse of the future that I could have helped stop but instead just let happen. I started to distance myself from friends and honestly at that time I didn’t even know why. I think it was mainly because I felt left out.

            February, soon came around. I think around this time I was going through a melodramatic phase. Not sure what to call it but I felt insane. Really more of a abandoned feeling. I also stood up my friends more than once and I feel that led to them walking away from my friendship. At the end of the month my doctor said I had to lose weight. I wasn’t fat fat, but I was just a little over weight. I had problems sleeping and he said that it would help to get in shape.

            So in the beginning of March, I changed my diet extremely. Cut all fat and all bad things even fast food. Started running and exercising. In no time I lost maybe about thirty pounds. I’m still working on some more but those last ones are the ones that are the hardest. Soon later this month we received tragic news that my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I knew she was going to the doctor quite a lot but I never thought that we were going to get that as a result.

            April is pretty much when everything was starting to sink in. I had no friends, well I had one, but I couldn’t tell him anything because I hadn’t and still haven’t came out to him. So I was pretty much alone. I had to be strong for my mom and brother but inside I was falling into pieces. What would I do without her? what was going to happen? How were we going to move on from this? And then I knew my work permit was going to expire soon and I hadn’t gotten it renewed yet. That put more stress on me. How were we going to pay the bills? Rent? How were we going to live?

            Her first secluded surgery was supposed to happen May the second. It was canceled because Medical said we hadn’t turned in some papers that they had sent us years ago. That was fucked up. But the system always is isn’t it? It was rescheduled for later that same month but the canceled again. We had to do everything all over. But by some miracle everything worked out and we got a new surgery date. I was still freaking out about every single little thing, I thought I was going crazy. And in a sense I did.

            June was the month that everything started falling back into place. Although I didn’t celebrate my birthday, my mom coming out of surgery safe and well was the best present I could have ever gotten. Its funny, the day after my birthday I my work permit was approved and was mailed to me. It should be her any day now. I have’t told anyone except my mom because I want it be a surprise. That was like a cherry on top. Now my mom is recovering and all we need if for the doctor to tell us she is free of cancer. But I don’t want to get too ahead of myself because I know how life works. I got my friends back by writing them a letter explaining everything that I was going through. I still think that there is a little more mending to do before I can call them friends again.

            So that’s mostly what happened during these six months. The first half of 2017. What will the other half bring? Keep reading and stay tuned because I don’t even know, but I suppose it will be interesting.

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