Working At Home

Today was the day I was scheduled to go back to work. I had taken off work since September twenty first to take care of my mother who went through reconstruction surgery that same day. I was going to be out two weeks and a half. But seeing as she may need more assistance I asked to return to work a little later, this Monday to be exact.

Some of my coworkers who have my number have been messaging me asking me if I’m ok or if I’ll be returning. I’ve texted them back letting them know I will go back soon. I didn’t want to tell anyone that I was taking a leave of absence because, well as blunt as it sounds, it’s none of their business.

I know that sounds harsh and mean, but I don’t really have a connection to them. Sure they are my coworkers but the bond or relationship I have with them is just merely related to work. There was only about two of them that I actually did tell what was going on. I’m sure I’m the talk of the town, probably asking themselves where I am or if I’m returning, or even what happened to me in the first place. Some might even think I quit. Surprise they will get when they see me walk in Monday.

I do have to say that even though I’ve been up and down with hospital visits, cleaning and cooking, and taking care of my mother, I have enjoyed this time off. Working at home is far different from working at a job. The thought of returning does not amuse me at all.

As a matter of fact, today while buying groceries, I saw a coworker. I asked her how she was and how things at work were going. By the looks of it, they’re not going so well. Things have changed and by the expression on her face and her tone of voice, they haven’t changed for the better.

Just to confirm my doubts I messaged a close coworker and she said that everything I heard was correct, and maybe even worse. If I didn’t want to go back then, imagine how I feel now? It seems like the big boss wants numbers, and he’s going to get them at who’s ever expense.

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Fight For It

I got my offer letter.

The company that we are transitioning finally offered me a pay if I were to convert to them. I knew what I was trying. That’s not what I wanted.

I walked into the general managers office about an hour ago. He say me down and explained to me what I was going to be given. I made a few questions as to why I was going to be paid so little.

Now, I’m not usually greedy, but I know my worth. I do so much for current company and I wasn’t getting paid for it. Plus, I want to add that I have been on a new mentality. The mentality that I will no longer be a pushover. I will be confident, I will be strong.

Because I made some questions, he called in the HR. She pulled me into her office and explained why I was going to be paid that amount. I told her no. I didn’t know if I was gonna get a higher offer but I did know I was going to fight for it.

Sooner than later she said ok, and they gave me what I was asking for. I was surprised with myself. I didn’t think they would just go with the flow like that. But I’m glad they did.

So now I sit here, in a clinic waiting to get drug tested, that’s a requirement, then they will send the results over to my HR and by then I’ll have my back ground checked and I will be part of the company in June.

Got My Dolla

Money moves people. If I ask you to help me cross the street you would probably say, it’s not that hard to cross the fucking street bruh. But if were to give you 5,000 dollars in cash and ask you for help, you would probably stop traffic for me and more. Truth?

My job in logistics is going through a employer change and people are demanding a raise in order to stay. Some people have already left, some have already been hired.

I will be one of the last ones to be hired and I’m not salty about that. It’s cool, I get to observe carefully how and what’s going on.

For example, some people got offered a 10 cent raise. And like a little kid offered a simple lollipop they said yes. I ain’t about that life. Maybe it’s the Cardi B in me or my strive to be more but I said hell nah.

I saw the general manager, a chance, an opportunity and I took it. I talked to him. Told him I do way to much to be offered just some piece of shit offer. I saw he was surprised buy my boldness. And trust me, I’m not a stand-up-for-yourself kind of person.

But for once I did what I had to do and I got my dolla.

I Quit

I quit my job.

Well, one of my jobs to be more exact. It was liberating. I felt free. Unstoppable.

Ok, maybe I didn’t feel that great but I did feel some sort of relief. I didn’t call. I didn’t show up. In a way it felt like skipping school. At times, I thought to myself, at this part of the day I would be doing this certain thing at work.

When my mother woke up and saw me laid in bed she asked me if my alarms had not gone off. Or if I just hadn’t felt well enough to go to work. I told her no, I quit.

You should have seen her face. I’ve never seen someone so happy to hear those words, I quit. She smiled a warm smile placed her hand on my knee. She even told me that with God everything is possible and not to worry about bills.

I know I don’t like my moms religious side. But that comment. Those words, just got to me. I felt good. I felt great about quitting. Who said quitters never win? I had won.

I did call my former employer (feels good to say that). I told them I would no longer be coming in. The manager told me matter-of-factly, “oh, we figured that.”

That was sort of rude. I guess it showed how much I hated being there. There are something’s that are just to hard to fake.

Will I miss any coworkers there? Probably not. I didn’t get too close to anyone. I tried not to. Why get attached when your going to leave them in the past? I know I’ll be the hot topic for a while though. I know I would have been talking smack if someone quit all of a sudden as I did.

So here’s to a new journey. Less stress. And less micromanagement.

Not Working Makes Me Happy

I’m sitting here in a room I don’t want to be in. Tapping on keys and looking into a computer when I could instead be having fun with my best friend. It’s The Weekend. It’s the time where everyone should be out having fun. Doing important things with family. Spending time with people that actually mean something, not sitting in room full of nobodies.

I could literally get up, grab my things, and leave and never come back. This is my second job. I got this job to help me out with the bills. But is it worth it? I ask myself every time I come here. Is it worth the stress? Is it worth the time I miss out with family and friends?

It’s frustrating going back and forth in what I want. Do I want to be here? Do I need the money? What will happen when I quit?

When I first go here today I put it in my head that tomorrow I wasn’t going to show up. I wasn’t going to show up, call, or do anything. I was so mind set into just abandoning this job. But now, as I think more rationally, I find it hard to believe I could do that.

Is it bad? Or is it spontaneous? Will it affect me later? I don’t know. I just know that I need to stop. Working two jobs, paying bills, being The Man, is really fucking tiring. Can I take anymore of it? I’m not happy. I want to be happy. And as funny as it sounds, not working makes me happy.