It’s a new year and its time for the whole New Year New Me bullshit. This is not the case for me though, I shall remain the same old me that I have always been. why would I change? I mean yes, I do have many many flaws but why do I have to change them for others when they wont change theirs for me?
Yesterday I took the day off from both jobs to go to Six Flags. I love that amusement park so much. There’s just something about being viciously thrown from side to side while moving at high speeds more than ten stories in the air just makes me feel like I am alive. I have to be honest, some of those rides don’t even do it for me any more. I guess you could say I am kind of an extremest.
I don’t know if I mentioned it before on here but one if not my only friend and I started a journal together. There I will as well as he will write down our daily things that we do throughout our lives. I think it’s a great idea for the moment. He will get to see what I really think, I wont hold back anything, well the fact that im gay maybe but that’s all.
The only thing that will change this year will probably be me quitting alcohol. I have seen how this liquid has ruined many people’s life. It has even put me in some bad places before, and seeing as how friendly I was becoming with it, I needed to stop while I was ahead.
At my second job, the call center, I told them I needed fewer hours, which they granted me by only giving me Fridays and the weekends to work which is perfect. I think at my first job it will slow down, not sure how that will reflect on my bank account.
Speaking of my back account. I was robbed of 260 dollars at Bed Bath and Beyond. I was checking my transactions from yesterday and noticed that one. I was nowhere near the store so I had to call immediately to place a claim and have the current card canceled before those robbers decide they might need more bath bombs or smoothing and soothing lotion for their nice soft criminal hands.
So that’s the start of 2018, still sacred but still moving on along while I have a breath to breathe.
So right now snapchat, instagram, and Facebook are all being flooded with post about how 2017 treated people. Some are saying that it was great and some are saying how it’s the worst year yet.
For me I’m swiping through word press and see all the 2017 posts as well. People saying goodbye to this year and hello to the next.
All the while I’m in my bed just listing to music. Doing nothing special. Not drinking, not having fun. Just boring old me in my bed. Sadly I work tomorrow but over time is over time.
I messaged a friend and told him that I really did appreciate his friendship this year. Through our ups and downs. Our adventures and out boring phases . It was all fun and great and he really did make this year better.
I’m scared for 2018 honestly. Everyone says that the next year will be better but it seems to only get worse. What’s going on? I have so many questions and no one seems to want to answer them. Am I the only one who’s scared?
This past Monday I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain. For all you oldies or people that only read books, it’s an amusement park with extreme rides. I had a blast and I really enjoyed my time there. You think that time would fly by but it actually didn’t. It dragged on and it felt great. I actually never felt that way. And if I had, it has been a real long since i can’t remember.
I thought it was going to be packed and the lines were going to be long but it was the total opposite. The most we waited was 25 minutes and that was only because it was the last ride of the day and everyone was getting on it.
I went with my best friend. Yes, best friend. I consider him my best best friend now. We have been getting real close lately. I have been more open with him and so has he. Told him I’m gay? No. I don’t think we are there yet. I don’t think we will ever get there. But he never asks so maybe he knows already? Wouldn’t that be swell.
When I came back to real life on Tuesday I had vacation sickness . Like you know when you are away from home and you miss home, so you’re homesick. So I came back from a mini day-cation. So I was day-cationsick. Which sucked because I really just wanted to be happy but coming back it’s like uuuuhhhhg you know?
But it’s been slowly fading. I’m just now coming back down from the high of excitement I was on. That’s the thing with me. I can be so high and then come crashing down all at once or stay up there for the longest time so then when I do come down it’s just terrible.
In other news I might quit my call center job. It has me stressed. Although I have been liking the expensive life, that might need to stop though.
Breathe in and out. Feel the sand run through your toes. Feel the rays of the sun jump on your skin and gracefully caress your face. You hear the waves of the ocean splash against the shore. People laughing. Kids playing in the sand. And it’s calm. It’s all calm.
You remember what it’s like being a kid. You remember how you father helped you get up when you first fell off your bike. You remember your mom teaching you how to tie your shoes. You remember how much fun you had in school. How you couldn’t wait to go back. You remember how you never fought with your friends. And when you did, did you remember the next day? No.
You suddenly feel that feeling you felt when you were young on Sunday mornings. Waiting for a bright future. You remember those waffles that only your mom knew how to make. How your dad loved football and always had snacks on Sundays. You remember feeling warm every Christmas Eve. And you couldn’t wait for New Years to come around to finally stay up past your bed time.
The candy’s on halloween and valentines. Your first crush. Your first love. You breathe in and smell that first day of school smell. That first car you bought with your own money.
Everything is calm.
You run your hands through the oceans sands and remember how it felt to always have your blanket. How it protected you from the monsters and the ghouls. How it felt hugging your dad when he came home. How it felt holding your first loves hand. In the winter it was cold, and in the summer you would just high five.
You open your eyes. The ocean is blue and the sky is a piercing orange. The end of another day. Just to be soon the beginning of another. The water waves at you. You wave back, and everything is calm.
Yesterday I went to the beach. It was a small day-cation. I really needed it. And I had the time of my life.