Human interaction. We all need it. Even the most antisocial person on the planet needs basic human interaction. With out it we go crazy.
Have you ever felt that way? Maybe you live alone, took some days off work to relax. Stayed home and did nothing. Soon you crave to talk to someone.
It’s a strange feeling. The need to let your thoughts out for someone to hear. The need to see someone’s reactions to your words. The feeling you get when you get a response to what you’ve said or done. It makes you feel alive. Or else how would you know?
It’s hard to live in your head. Most of us do it unconsciously. Living day in and day out talking to ourselves. Answering questions our own minds asked us in our brain. Some of us make up people that don’t exist just to relay information and get it out of the system. Yet, who do we kid? We are just playing ourselves.
I feel this way a lot. Recently it’s been stronger than ever. I live in my head. I’ve built a strong house on a a great foundation in a lovely city there. In my head I see the world in a different way, better. Some times the outer world is just a scene in the tv in my house in my head.
That’s what happens when you slowly lose interaction with humans who once you were close with. Do you blame them? Or do you blame yourself? Coping is only part of life. It’s how we survive. It’s how we still live on with out going crazy. Or are we all just a little crazy?
I sit. Open a book, till my head back, and relax in my warm little home. Inside my head.
Is social media ruining friendships? Or in the contrary, is it helping friends get closer to each other?
My over all verdict is going to have to be that you can decide which way it will go. Social media has given us the gift of being somewhere with someone, but not actually or to be more literal, physically been there with them.
This in its own sense can be good just as it can be evil thing. You can be enjoying the beauty of nature from home through your eyes of your friends pictures. You can be at the ocean while your furnace warms up your cabin in the mid west on a cold winters day.
I know it’s not the same thing as actually bing where the picture or video was taken. But don’t you feel like your there? Or at least feel the sand in your feet, or the smell of trees , and been the wind blowing in your hair.
Then again, you can also know the exact location of your friend. Or honestly really anyone. If they allow you to see their mobile location, you can pin point where they are with an almost exact precision.
This last one has ruined my life. I think a lot. I am one of those people who asks themselves every possible question that really has no answer because they are foolish questions.
Why are they there? Who are they with? Why didn’t I get invited? Then once these questions don’t get answered, they are followed by deeper ones. Maybe they don’t want to be around me? Maybe they became bored of me? Is this their way of saying goodbye?
Well, one of my jobs to be more exact. It was liberating. I felt free. Unstoppable.
Ok, maybe I didn’t feel that great but I did feel some sort of relief. I didn’t call. I didn’t show up. In a way it felt like skipping school. At times, I thought to myself, at this part of the day I would be doing this certainthing at work.
When my mother woke up and saw me laid in bed she asked me if my alarms had not gone off. Or if I just hadn’t felt well enough to go to work. I told her no, I quit.
You should have seen her face. I’ve never seen someone so happy to hear those words, I quit. She smiled a warm smile placed her hand on my knee. She even told me that with God everything is possible and not to worry about bills.
I know I don’t like my moms religious side. But that comment. Those words, just got to me. I felt good. I felt great about quitting. Who said quitters never win? I had won.
I did call my former employer (feels good to say that). I told them I would no longer be coming in. The manager told me matter-of-factly, “oh, we figured that.”
That was sort of rude. I guess it showed how much I hated being there. There are something’s that are just to hard to fake.
Will I miss any coworkers there? Probably not. I didn’t get too close to anyone. I tried not to. Why get attached when your going to leave them in the past? I know I’ll be the hot topic for a while though. I know I would have been talking smack if someone quit all of a sudden as I did.
So here’s to a new journey. Less stress. And less micromanagement.
I’m sitting here in a room I don’t want to be in. Tapping on keys and looking into a computer when I could instead be having fun with my best friend. It’s The Weekend. It’s the time where everyone should be out having fun. Doing important things with family. Spending time with people that actually mean something, not sitting in room full of nobodies.
I could literally get up, grab my things, and leave and never come back. This is my second job. I got this job to help me out with the bills. But is it worth it? I ask myself every time I come here. Is it worth the stress? Is it worth the time I miss out with family and friends?
It’s frustrating going back and forth in what I want. Do I want to be here? Do I need the money? What will happen when I quit?
When I first go here today I put it in my head that tomorrow I wasn’t going to show up. I wasn’t going to show up, call, or do anything. I was so mind set into just abandoning this job. But now, as I think more rationally, I find it hard to believe I could do that.
Is it bad? Or is it spontaneous? Will it affect me later? I don’t know. I just know that I need to stop. Working two jobs, paying bills, being The Man, is really fucking tiring. Can I take anymore of it? I’m not happy. I want to be happy. And as funny as it sounds, not working makes me happy.
I feel like I haven’t talked about her for a while and she’s the most important thing in my life. Yes, at times she is annoying and frustrates me to death, but I still love her.
Last week we saw the Breast Cancer Coordinator. She was really nice and helpful trying to get us to see the plastic surgeon as fast as we couldn’t for my moms reconstruction therapy. She told us she needed all of my moms medical records.
So yesterday we went around town driving to clinics and labs picking up the records my mom requested last week. Question: why do you have to pay for medical records that are yours? I find that really annoying. That’s like your life on paper and you have to pay to obtain it. It’s really rude.
But atlas, we got them all. At one clinic they couldn’t find her in their records. My heart sort of sank. I didn’t need this at the moment. Like we need her records and the records couldn’t be found. But with the miracle form the lord or actual hard work from the medical records intern they were able to find them.
After all that my mom decided that we needed to make copies just in case they asked for them again we wouldn’t have to go through all that. So I bought some ink for my printer but apparently it’s broken now. So that was a waste of money.
I came to the local library instead to copy them. Was almost the same price as buying the ink. But what are you going to do? Things break, money comes and goes, what’s important is that my mom gets back her feel good attitude that every woman deserves . And I know that this surgery will help her.
She wants this all to be done as I do too. I really hate breast cancer. So if you have breasts, get them checked.