It Will Change Us Forever

Dear Journal,

These past few days have been a little rough. I’m not going to lie its really hard (this cancer thing). I’m trying my best to stay strong and be positive in front of everyone, but I know soon as I don’t find way to relax and let out my despair I feel like I’ll turn into a ticking time bomb.

This Friday I talked to my boss,  and another supervisor. Originally I just wanted my boss to know but its good that she knows just as well, since she will ask questions either way when she notices my change in work habits or absences.

Like any other supporting humans they felt sorry. He (the manager) said he had my full support in what ever I needed. Of course I don’t really need much from him since he is just my boss. All I need from him is the approval to leave early on days in which is necessary. I also informed him that I didn’t want to abuse of his authority that’s why I had to talk to him about it.

I told my best friend. He took it well. I know he will be some sort of anchor for me. Someone I can talk to about everything. He’s eighteen so of course the wisdom he will provide me with will not be that of gran experience but his support will do more or me than he will ever know.

My mom’s ex boyfriend knows as well. He said he’s going to do anything in his power to help us get through this. His brothers wife had breast cancer and uterus cancer. She is a survivor and gave my mom a lot of tips of what she is going to go through and what she can do to make this experience  not so bad.

Other than that we haven’t told anyone and mainly it’s because my mom doesn’t want to make a big deal about it. We will tell friends and family first. Then our church. Yes, we are religious. Me, I would consider myself a stray even though I go every Sunday. I never applied anything to my life but I liked going. I was thinking though that it is sad that when we are in trouble we tend to look at God for help. Yet, when we are doing fine we act like there is no God. I don’t like that feeling. That’s why the last time I was in trouble and I looked to him I said I would stay by His side but I did stray anyway. Not enough to not go to church but enough to not be fully there.

All that’s left to do know is wait and see where this journey will take us. It’s not going to be fun, I know. I will struggle, it will change us all for ever, no matter what the outcome will be. I lost two friends in the beginning of the year and have gotten closer to another. My job is OK for now, I just hope we all have the strength to keep moving forward.

 

 

3/19/2017

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