A Loser Like Me

Dear Journal,

     This weekend went just as I had planed it would be! I went out, had fun, and fell in love! Just kidding. None of that really happened (and never will to be brutally honest). What actually happened isn’t that much of an excitement. Kind of a “meh” weekend. I wouldn’t say it was bad either, I mean I didn’t die (although I wouldn’t necessarily consider that bad).  *Insert thinking emoji here*

     Last weekend I finish the series Lost on Netflix. It’s a great show but the ending sucks (FYI). One of my favorites of all time, but as I finished it, my anxiety of what I was going to binge on next grew on me. Out of all the options I chose Glee. I know gaaaay. (Its okay, I can say that). *Flips hair in a sassy motion*

     Back when the show premiered on TV I was a huge fan but I lost touch when other circumstances in life came around. (“Adulting”). Now that I have the chance I can watch the whole series and I’m proud to say that in a week I have caught up pretty well. I’m currently  on season three, episode five. (Wait should I be proud of that?)

     Anyway Journal, Saturday night I decided to watch a scary movie, since in fact it is my favorite genre in film (or so I thought). I hadn’t seen a scary/horror movie in a while, months maybe! That’s just not like me, I live to be terrified. To not know whats coming next, get goose bumps on my skin, a shiver down my back, and jump when things come out of no where. That’s my thing!

     So I put on a movie that I found that had good reviews. In short it was about a psychologist who gets brutally attacked by one of her patients, witnesses her death, and is brutally scared. She takes a two-year break and comes back well and better than ever until a patient that was brutally scared from a fire or something brings back the memory of the dead girl, (literally).

     Twenty minutes in I fell asleep. I was so mad. I don’t fall asleep through movies like that not even when I’m sleep deprived. So I asked my self, was it not that good of a movie as I thought it was going to be? Or, was I just too sleepy to continue before it had the chance to grab my attention?  

     To put these theories to the test I decide to watch Bates Motel. It’s basically the life of Normal Bates before he became Psycho. It’s a real thriller/dark kind of show. But as I watched it I saw that I was trying too hard to pay attention. In the past seasons I was hooked in the first two minutes of any episode.

     So I ask, what is wrong with me? Did I suddenly change? Why has my love for horror vanished? The only logical and scientific conclusion I can come up with is that my life is already a horror movie of its own and it has to many thrills (not generally in a good way). That the ones on a screen don’t entertain me as much. For example, I have so many things to worry about, work, my family, health, the crazy guy who’s in office, and so many more things that, sitting down and watching someone terrorize people or trying to solve a mystery before it plays out is just not as fun anymore.

     I have concluded that I can only watch comedies or comedy related melodramas. The world is already filled with dark things and to be watching more makes my life so depressing. I need more fun in my life, more laughter. The world we live in today is so dark. Watching The Office and Parks & Rec made me laugh and made me feel good. I don’t know about anyone else but I like feeling good, so now all that’s left to do is find a show that makes me smile and laugh. In the mean time I will be listening to Loser Like Me by the cast of Glee on a continuous loop, thank you very much. (It’s been in my head all weekend).

1/29/2017

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